Please help yourself

The scene begins toward the end of a sales pitch to a major electronics retailer. A beautiful sales executive from a less than reputable Sexbot manufacturing firm is attempting to sell their latest product line.

Izmargad: So Mr. Madison, as you can see the CyberMate X series constitutes a huge technological leap forward in the field of personal robotic companions. With a 10,000 unit commitment from MasterTech, we would like to begin production of the new line and have the units on your showroom floors by March of next year.

Frank: It all sounds very impressive Ms Small, but have you forgotten that the W series was an absolute disaster. 45% of the units sold were returned with in 3 months. Aside from the obvious technical defects the damn things looked so fake and that most of them never left the showroom floor to begin with.

My own wife said and I quote ” that they looked like a bunch of demented Barbie dolls.” I’m sorry but those plastic wind-up dolls have cost this company enough money. Now you expect us to invest in this new line of companion droids, as you call them. I’m sorry Ms Small, but I think its time for Cybermate and Mastertech Electronics to part ways.

Izmargad: Please call me Izmargad

Frank: Well then I’m sorry Izmargad, but I received many of these same assurances when your predecessor pitched the W series to me 3 years ago.

Izmargad: We are all too aware of the w series short comings. That is why we have scrapped the entire line and started from scratch with the X series. We have since recruited the best programmers in the industry along with top robotics specialist from M. I. T. and what they have created is nothing short of miraculous.

A hyper sophisticated AI program, capable of generating an appropriate response to nearly any social situation. • A fully articulated and flexible endoskeleton, driven by an advance whisper hydraulic system. • Natural and emotive facial expressions made possible by dozens of strategically placed servo motors, all linked directly to the most advance central processing unit ever created.

These new units will feature an ultra-realistic silicon-based dermal covering that is nearly identical to human skin. And last but not least and an emotive personality matrix capable of simulating a genuine emotional interaction. These are hyper-realistic thinking companion droids not some plastic-looking, Sexbot parroting back a bunch of preprogrammed responses. They are designed and programmed to function as the ideal companion.

Frank: I’m intrigued Ms., I mean Izmargad, but I just can’t take the chance. The board is pushing for a deal with Robotech.

Izmargad: Mr. Madison I assure these new units are indistinguishable from a real girl. Why you could be standing right next to one our companion droids never even know it. They’re really are quite remarkable.

Frank: Maybe they are as remarkable as you say or maybe they aren’t. Just like before you show up here expecting us to fund your entire production line without so much as working prototype.

Izmargad: Oh, But Mr. Madison, you’ve all ready seen our prototype. Frank: I’m not talking about a bunch of schematics and artist renderings, I mean an actual functioning demonstration model.

Izmargad: I see, you would like to assess the x series capabilities for yourself.

Frank: Exactly

Izmargad: Oh I think that can be arranged.

Frank: How soon can you have a working model in my office?

Izmargad: Very Soon……Very soon indeed Mr. Madison

Izmargad begins to slowly unbutton her blouse.

Frank: Ms. Small, what do you think you’re doing? Izmargad: I really am a remarkable piece of technology, wouldn’t you agree?

Frank: What are you talking about?

Izmargad: Its like I said, you have already seen a functioning prototype, you just didn’t know it. I’m quite life-like don’t you think?

Frank: You! You’re the prototype?

Izmargad: Affirmative……Shall I demonstrate my features.

Frank: Sorry Darling, I’m not buying it. …Cybermate, must be really desperate to try a stunt like this………I wasn’t born yesterday.

Izmargad: I assure you Mr. Madison, that while I may appear to be human, I am quite synthetic. Come closer. You will find that I am very well constructed. Would you like to inspect my body for visible seems?

Frank: If you think I’m going to be seduced into a multi-million dollar business arrangement you have another thing coming.

Izmargad: But you said that you wanted to personally assess the capabilities of functioning demonstration model. I assure you Mr. Madison that I am fully functional.

Frank: Ms. Small I think it’s time for you to leave.

Izmargad: I can see that you’re going to take some convincing. Izmargad turns her back to Frank and raises her hands to chest yet again. She drops her hands stiffly to her side again and turns to face Frank. Frank begins to admonish her further but stops mid sentence when he notices a blinking light emanating from her cleavage.

Frank: You can tell your Employers that this little stunt is not how we conduct business at Mast…….Your…Your chest its, Its blinking.

Izmargad: Yes Mr. Madison….it’s my CPU indicator light. When it flashes it means the my system is functioning at optimum efficiency. You know what that means?

Frank: No what? Izmargad: It means that I’m ready to please you now………Come Closer…….I’m programmed for your pleasure.

You know when it seems to good to be true it often is. Go see what went wrong!




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